If You Really Knew Me...

Thanks to my friend Michelle for inspiring me with her own "If you really knew me" blog post.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot multitask. I've had selective hearing for as long as I can remember. It's so hard to fight against my body's instinct to keep me focused on one thing at a time.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot stand to see someone suffer. I'm still trying to learn that everything's not my fault and I cannot fix everything. Still, it hurts.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I laugh loudly. I throw my head back or double over or shake the chair I'm sitting in.

You'd know the thing that most often triggers my tears is a beautiful song.

You'd know I made a gazillion home movies growing up. Most featured myself as the princess or the glamorous movie star, while I made my younger sister play the maid or the moron.

If you really knew me, you'd know I used to cut off my lower eyelashes in my younger teens. They were too long and curly. I've since embraced my Twiggy eyelashes.

If you really knew me, you'd know that as a teen I was OBSESSED with U2, Winona Ryder, The Young Riders, and Greek mythology. I had scrapbooks for all of these things.

You'd know I have about 37,869 most embarrassing moments. Topping them all is the slo-mo "violin fart" in front of 50 girls and the ultimate trip down the stairs at my junior high school (I kept ricocheting into the wall as I endlessly rolled downward).

You'd know my left kidney belongs to my older brother now.

You'd know I play sad folk songs on my guitar. I don't know how many times my high school friends had to endure my rendition of "Blowin' in the Wind."

If you really knew me, you'd know I have nine brothers and sisters. I'm the oldest sister. That makes me the boss.

If you really knew me, you'd know I am a PERFECTIONIST. And it drives me crazy.

You'd know when my husband proposed to me, he gave me his glow-in-the-dark CTR ring to wear until he could afford something more.

You'd know I won first place in monologues at the statewide high school Shakespearean festival. I was so surprised I jumped on the old man presenting the award and gave him a hug. Luckily, he didn't topple over.

You'd know I cuss like a sailor when I snow ski, or any other time I think I might die.

You'd know that in high school my best friend and I made love potions and drank them--raw eggs and all.

If you really knew me, you'd know that the quality I most admire in others is their sincerity. Being fake is a cardinal sin in my book.

If you really knew me, you'd know I give my heart away easily. It gets trampled on often, but I'd still rather be this way.

If you write your own "If you really knew me" post, please let me know! I'd love to learn more about you.

A Balancing Act

So I haven't blogged since August. Wow. But in the meantime I finished the draft of my two-years-in-the-works YA fantasy! I'm realizing, once again, how I DO NOT have the talent of doing more than one thing at a time. Somehow all my crit partners managed to complete NaNoWriMo AND blog AND make thoughtful comments on other people's blogs. How do you do it, my friends? What is your secret?

Even though I technically didn't qualify to win Nano in the first place (you have to start a new novel, and mine was already half-written), I set a goal to write 50k with my friends in November. I actually accomplished 60k that month...and that was pretty much the ONLY thing I did. Everything else fell by the wayside. Even simple things like changing out of my pajamas or fixing dinner for my family just didn't happen. I was caught up in an all-consuming bubble (can bubbles consume? of course they can!) of Guinevere's adventures in Shalott.

I've had this ability/curse to hyper-focus since I was a little girl. For hours, and in one sitting, I would work on elaborate crafts. A favorite pastime was making paperdolls and paper houses, complete with paper fridges (that had working doors, drawers, and miniature paper food), washers, dryers, closets (with paper hangers for all the paper clothes), stairs, bedrooms for all the paper family, etc.

I've always been this detail oriented and had such overly ambitious creative ideas. But I have to be careful because sometimes I let the most important priorities in my life (family and friends) suffer because of my artistic tunnel vision. My parents tried to teach me again and again how to keep things in balance. It's hard, and now at 34 years-old, I still haven't figured it out.

My goal for 2012 is to blog regularly AND work consistently on revising The Rowaness of Shalott (and what I'm most excited for, writing the sequel!).

In the meantime, feel free to kick me in the booty when I slack, because knowing me, the mesmerizing world of creativity will grasp me in its clutches once again.