Sunday, March 25, 2012

My First Critique Partner Retreat

Robin, Ilima, Emily, Taryn and me at a restaurant in Emily's YA novel.
All the other lovely ladies in my critique group have posted about our retreat last Thursday-Sunday, so I thought I'd finally jump on the bandwagon.

It's funny...before the retreat we made a giant list of things we hoped to do together. These things included pedicures, a night out at the movies, yoga (by certified Robin), guitar singing 'n' playing by yours truly, hot tubbing, and a hike in the mountains. I think we were all a bit worried that maybe the friends we briefly met one year ago, and have since stayed in constant online contact with, weren't really like us. No one in their right mind would want to write most of the time, after all.

So, although we didn't get to cross off so many items on our giant to-do list, it was so refreshing to see that we are all bona fide writer geeks. We did, for good measure, watch one movie (Like Crazy) at Emily's house in not-so-sunny California, and I managed to pluck everyone's eyebrows, but other than that we wrote, wrote, wrote, all sitting in Emily's cozy family room. We did pause and chat from time to time (we are human!), and we shared excerpts from what we were working on.

Writing 'n' waiting for cinnamon rolls
The second night, Emily asked us if we wanted to watch another movie. We all looked up from our laptops and notebooks and shrugged, as if to say, "Movies? Who needs movies when the story I'm writing is so much cooler!" The next morning we woke up, staked out places at the kitchen table (as we waited for Emily's cinnamon rolls to finish baking), and again, delved deep into our story worlds.

It was AWESOME being with people who totally get this madness that is writing. As James Owen so perfectly put it at LTUE, "I had found my tribe."

Let me tell you some things about my awesome crit partners...

Taryn & Emily
EMILY, our lovely hostess, is Martha Stewart's doubleganger. She does everything crafty and homemaking. Her home is picture-worthy from every angle, and is stuffed with quaint hand soaps, handmade quilts, and fresh eggs from her own chickens (okay, her house isn't stuffed with eggs, but you get the point). Emily also bakes delicious food from scratch, and when she asked what I'd like for lunch, and I said peanut butter and jelly, a sad look crossed her face. Emily has a master's degree in literature, and she loves to dig up the themes and deeper meanings in our stories (and as you can imagine, her stories revel in them). AND Emily is super hilarious...in a dry way. I'm infamously gullible, and I often can't tell when Emily is pulling my leg. She said she'd have to make a sarcastic-face emoticon to help me with our future email correspondence.

Baby Joseph & Robin
ROBIN has been my friend for forever. We started our writing journey together over two years ago. Robin is  very smart and, like Emily, is talented in a bazillion areas. She's a rock climber, yoga instructor, piano teacher, mother of four, and a speed-reader (at least, according to my standards). She usually reads two to three books a week. Robin brought her sweet four-month-old baby, Joseph, to the retreat. He is super cute and LOVES to talk. (I'm sure his gooing and gaaing definitely mean something to him.) Robin has started writing her third book, which is amazing to me, considering I'm still polishing up my first. Robin, you are my hero! Can you move back to Utah and be my neighbor again. Pleeeeease?!!

Ilima
ILIMA is my Utah CP buddy. She is yet another multi-talented wonder in our group (hmm...I'm starting to realize how uncool I am). Ilima homeschools her children, volunteers a ton of time to her church, sews, hosts a monthly book club, and is currently writing her fourth book (a dystopian we're all freaking out about because it ROCKS). Ilima is from Hawaii, and that place and culture are a strong influence in all her stories. I always appreciate Ilima's honesty...she has a special way of giving helpful criticism without the sting. My favorite Ilima moment of the retreat: when I was plucking her eyebrows, I said, "Wow, you're not even crying." She replied, "I'm crying on the inside. I feel like Bella when she is turning into a vampire."

Taryn
TARYN is the youngest, but most brilliant and experienced writer in our group. At nineteen, she already has an agent and several finished books under her belt. It's no secret that we all live vicariously through her, and I'm not just talking about all-things-writing. Whenever Taryn is going through boy drama (good or bad), we want the nitty gritty. She's learning to wrap us around her finger and divulge the details SLOOOOWLY through several coy emails. It's torture! I didn't realize how laid back Taryn was until this retreat. But she's so speedy with writing! She drafted her agented novel in two weeks and finished revisions in three days. Insane. Taryn is also a competitive swimmer and has placed in nationals. When she wants something, she goes for it and gets it.

I miss you already, ladies, but am looking forward to seeing you again at WIFYR this year! XOXOXO

Monday, March 12, 2012

Casting My Characters

What writer doesn't dream of seeing her book turned into a movie? As an actress, I have an even greater tendency to get lost in these imaginings. My crit group and I also have fun emailing each other with our future movie casts. I've even gotten to the point that when I watch TV or movies anymore, my mind drifts and I wonder if that actor or actress would fit in my film (like even when I'm watching American Idol...see below). I think about directors too. My current favorite pick: Terrence Malick (Tree of Life, New World). I love him!

Here's my dream cast:

Guinevere
I've thought about Lily Collins, but my new favorite choice is Alexis Raich. I saw her on an episode of Fringe. She's a great actress and has that otherworldy beauty that fits the part.


Lancelot
Alex Pettyfer fits the bill. He's also got the same fabulous deep voice that my Lancelot has.


Arthur
Anton Yelchin is an amazing actor and has a great look for the part, though he'd have to go blond. But then I saw Phillip Phillips from American Idol. He looks perfect! C'mon, Phillip, can you learn how to act and drop your southern accent? Pleeeeeease?


Nimue
The coveted role of Queen of the Rowaness goes to Michelle Dockery from Downton Abbey. Congratulations, Michelle! Future Academy Award coming your way.




Constantine
Jim Caviezel would be fabulous in this role, but I must give it to Rufus Sewell, one of the best actors and one of the most underrated. (Did you see him in Zen? Reserve it on your Netflix now!) Rufus, I have complete faith you can pull off the part! This is also the role my husband (a brilliant actor) wants to play. Honey, I'll be sure to put in a good word for you. :-)


The Watcher
This tricky and subtle role goes to one of the most brilliant actresses, Abbie Cornish. She is in my FAVORITE movie, Bright Star.




Galahad and Gawain, I haven't forgotten about you...I just haven't figured you out yet. I can't just offer your roles to anybody! Everyone else in my cast, be prepared to wear colored contacts or dye your hair. Such is the actor's life. Oh, and Rachel Portman, heads up, you'll be composing the score. After the soundtracks for Emma, The Cider House Rules, and The Duchess, you can do no wrong in my book.

All right! Now I've just got to line up a producer, book the Isle of Wight for location filming, and write the screenplay. What was that? Get an agent? Publish my book first? *sighs* Way to shoot down my fantasy.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Confessions of an Overwriter

Is it a phone book? Is it a doorstop? No, it's my first draft!
When I finished the draft of my novel in December, it clocked it at about 140,000 words. Yipes! But it is a fantasy, there is necessary worldbuilding, and it is the first book in a trilogy. Still...140,000 words! I've been told all along my novel needs to be under 100k for YA, and as I typed those last few chapters I was cringing. "No, no, no...end NOW, novel!" But it wouldn't mind me. I finally gave in, realizing I had to get all the words out of me, then I'd come back, revise and chop, chop, chop.

But in my two months' distance from my novel, I started to worry. I mean, what could I possibly cut from my plot? I already kept my cast of characters fairly small. Cut I cut any more? I was confident, at least, that deleting 10k wouldn't be a big deal, but 40k? Ouch.

So as strange as it sounds, when I read my lengthy novel over four days--and really got a sense of the pacing as a whole--it made me CRAZY HAPPY to see I had plenty...PLENTY of raw material to work with for cutting!

Yes, folks, I am an overwriter. I've known this from the beginning, but now I see more clearly where I overwrite. These are the areas where I'm especially guilty:

  • Warming up:  There's always a big scene or a big moment I'm working up to. I always have a fear that I'll reach that moment too soon and it will feel contrived to the reader. I am almost always wrong and can cut at least half my words in the warm up/set up.
  • Interiority:  I LOVE interiority in novels. Stories without it don't compel me. But this is where I have the biggest problem with overwriting. I stuff so much inner thought into my prose that it bogs down my pacing. I can cut probably a third of all the interiority I write.
  • Beats:  The actress in me likes to act out my characters. I like to write them making facial expressions, twiddling things in their fingers, sighing, etc. That's all fine and good, but when I revise, I have to check my dialogue carefully and see if those words alone convey the emotion and thought of the character. When they do, I have to trust them and cut the beat. Too many beats also make the pace lag.

There are two kinds of writers: put-er-in-ers and taker-out-ers. You know what kind you are when it comes to revision. I am obviously a take-er-out-er. But, hey, half the battle is recognizing the problem, right? (The other half is doing something about it.) I'd certainly be in trouble if I submitted a bloated manuscript to an agent. That's why we writers get the beautiful opportunity of a second chance...and third, fourth...gazillionth. We can revise, thank goodness. (And don't worry, future readers, you won't have to read 140,000 words! By the time I'm done, this will be a tight and shiny story; I've already cut half of what I've written in the first three chapters, and the pacing rocks!)

The beauty of overwriting is that in getting nearly every single idea out of me and onto paper, it's easy to find the gems in the writing--the gems that wouldn't be there had I not overthought the subject to such an extent. So in revising, I go back, keep the gems and nix most of the rest.

For me, overwriting is just a part of the process. Maybe it's not a weakness; maybe it's a strength. Or maybe it's just the way I work. Things I do feel confident about with this first draft are my characters and my plot. Sure, they still need some tweaking, but at least those things aren't going to need a major rehaul. I'll be busy enough condensing my novel!

Here's how I've decided to tackle revisions:

I made note cards for every chapter in my book. On the front of the card, I wrote a very brief description of the action in the chapter (in a nutshell, what happens). I also listed the characters involved and the location.

On the back of the note card, I made two columns. The first column listed my three Os: Objective, Obstacle, and Outcome. My character has to want something, something has to get in her way, and there needs to be an outcome--usually NOT what she wants to keep the overall conflict going in the novel. (And, really, every character in the chapter needs three O's as well, so I have to keep those in the back of my mind--because there's no more room on my note card!).

In the second column on the back of the note card are key points of the chapter. These are usually bits of information the reader needs to learn during this time, like pieces of exposition, back story, important plot points, meeting new characters, etc. Once I have this completed note card, I have a focused picture of what this chapter needs to be. Anything beyond it is fluff and in serious danger of my revision battle ax!

When it comes to revisions, are you a put-er-in-er or a take-er-out-er? What kinds of things do you put in or take out? How do you tackle revisions?

Edit: I just read on Kristin Cashore's blog (author of Graceling) that her first draft of Bitterblue (soon-to-be released) was 216,000 words, 800 pages! The will-be published version (seven drafts later) is 550 pages. I feel so much better!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Gaining Confidence as a Writer

I have begun the highly anticipated process of revising my novel. After two years of drafting, being to this point is super exciting...and daunting for me. The truth is, I revised my novel...a lot...before I finished it. I threw out the first six months of work and started over again. I also nitpicked the NEW first third to death (like a year) before moving onto the last two-thirds of my novel, which I wrote in two months. Suffice it to say, it took me a long time to get where I'm at now.

I used to think things like, "Huh, my chapter turned out so much better than I thought it would. Lucky me. If I hadn't decided to write when I did on this particular day and time, and under these exact circumstances, this unique chapter couldn't have been written." In retrospect, I see I was crediting each success along the way to things beyond me. Because things like, I don't know, hard work and determination couldn't possibly have produced a good chapter. I did work hard. I busted my butt. But that couldn't be the reason why my chapters magically came together.

I remember reading interviews of published authors who said they threw out their WHOLE novels and started over again...sometimes more than once. That idea terrified me. I mean, I was fortunate in the first place to have produced a decent chapter, right? How could I toss it out, hoping luck would find me again? The odds weren't good.

I've been under the silly notion that cutting down my lengthy novel to the appropriate size would be a simple matter of hitting the delete key 40,000 times.

Ha!

I just wrote a new chapter one. At least half of it was new material (that was the part I'd been dreading, but was actually fun); the other half was a maddening puzzle-piecing together of stuff I'd already written. When I finished, I'd reduced three long chapters to ten pages. And guess what? The new chapter is SO MUCH BETTER than what I'd written before.

I realized something: maybe, just maybe, this could do with a little person called me. Maybe I was a talented enough to make something shiny and new all over again--every time I determined to. It didn't have to be during a magical time of day or because the planets had aligned.

Now I'm not trying to diss that inspiration plays a big part in writing. We all have our muses and tricks to help set the mood. And I do credit my crit partners, my husband, and other readers for feedback that's helped me shape my story. But I finally realized I can rewrite something well...and take a little credit.

Mary Kole said on her website a few weeks ago, "Words are a renewable resource." That resonated with me, but also had me shaking in my boots. Was I capable of writing better than I had in the first place?

Yes I was. Yes I am.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Love Triangle Agony

So most my crit partners have now read The Rowaness of Shalott. I read it myself after two months' distance (and before reading their critiques). Most of their comments were in line with things I also saw when I read, but the biggest shocker came from one of my best friends (also a crit partner).

She hates Lancelot.

WHAT?!!! How could she hate Lancelot? Impossible!


The feedback I've gotten from other readers/crit partners so far is that they love both Lancelot and Arthur, which is what I wanted. I love them equally, though I know who Guinevere will end up with at the end of my trilogy. I've written both men very differently. Arthur is perfect (which ends up being a flaw) and Lancelot isn't (which compels me to him). I naively thought that every reader would follow Guinevere's story and fall in love with each man when she did.

I was very, very wrong.

This is the joy of love triangles, and after a weekend of being very hurt and angry, I've realized a few things, talked to several people, and come away with some insights.

Guess what? When you write a love triangle, you inadvertently ask your readers to love one interest more than the other. To what degree they love the one, they often hate the other in an equal measure.

Let's take Twilight, for example. I hate Jacob. Hate him. But I suddenly like him during the second half of Breaking Dawn. I realized this was because he was no longer a threat to Bella and Edward's relationship. I could give you paragraphs of valid reasons why I hated Jacob before, but fundamentally, it came down to fact that he was not Edward and was standing in the way of him.

There are some books, however, that I like both love interests (though I still have a favorite). Unearthly and Matched come to mind. But anytime I truly, madly, deeply fall in love with a love interest, I HATE the rival.

Cassandra Clare says your readers should be split down the middle with which love interest they prefer in a love triangle. The stronger they hate and love the other is a GOOD SIGN your story is working.

Now I'll admit love triangles annoy me to no end when they're the typical both-boys-fighting-over-the-girl-and-oh-dear-who-will-she-choose variety. You start hating the girl for being wishy-washy, bouncing back and forth between them. But love triangles can be very effective story tools. Cassandra Clare says if the two boys have a solid friendship, that makes things more interesting (Arthur and Lancelot are best friends, so check). It also makes things more interesting (according to me) if both boys AREN'T fighting for the girl. If they're confused whether they love her or not in the first place. All right, that's all I'm going to spill about my story. The point is, love triangles do have their place in literature AND can be very compelling.

One of the panels I attended at LTUE was on fractured fairy tales. The authors agreed that the reason they fracture a fairy tale is usually because they hated the original or something about it. This is true for me with the Arthurian legends. I dislike how the love triangle is often handled between Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot. And so The Rowaness of Shalott was born.

I've realized that as I writer I need to let my book communicate in whatever way it will for my readers. I can write, revise and polish all I want, but in the end, not everyone's going to like my story or all of my characters. This friend who hated Lancelot, loved two other characters who none of my other readers have liked so far. Is she right or wrong? It doesn't matter. She is having her own valid experience with my book, and she should be allowed that. Every reader should be. It breaks my heart that she hates Lancelot because I know I won't change him (and because I wanted this close friend to enjoy him). But for my purposes as a writer, he is everything I want him to be. (But my friend loves Arthur. So that's something to be happy about.)

Little did I know what I was getting myself into with writing this love triangle. But now I've gotten a taste for what to expect, I'm more prepared.

*skips away to make Team Lancelot and Team Arthur t-shirts*



For more thoughts on love triangles, visit my awesome crit partner's blog post. (For the record, Ilima loved both Arthur and Lancelot.)

Also, a shout out goes to another crit partner, Taryn, who just signed with agent Vickie Motter. Taryn is a mad genius and we all live vicariously through her. Congrats, Taryn! (Time will tell if she likes Arthur and Lancelot. I'll send her the second draft of Rowaness...hopefully minus 40,000 words.)

Friday, February 3, 2012

Let's Talk Dialogue

Dialogue is a powerful tool in writing. It effortlessly shows rather than tells, it's more often than not used "in-scene," and it usually improves pacing. BUT writing dialogue and all its mechanics is a tricky business. Agents often skip to dialogue-heavy sections of novels they're considering because dialogue reveals the skills of a writer instantaneously.

The times I'm most engaged as a writer is when I'm writing dialogue.I write slowly by nature, but with dialogue, I can't write fast enough! I usually skip the dialogue tags and action beats between the lines, just trying to stay on top of the words my characters are spewing back and forth to each other. I often know what they say in the middle or at the end of a conversation, and I bounce back and forth trying to capture everything. Once I finally get their words out, I go back and plug in the necessary tags and beats.

While I don't pretend to be the know-it-all master of dialogue, I can tell you some of my tried-and-true tricks.

I'd say good dialogue comes down to two rules: it needs to sound natural and it needs to be compact for the purposes of tight fiction (which is not how people speak in real life). The two rules oppose each other, and it's the writers job to strike the right balance.

Natural Dialogue

When I was little girl, my siblings and I would record our voices onto audio cassette tapes. Then in my early teens my dad bought a video camera. So in some format or another, I was constantly recording improvisational scenes. If you haven't tried improv acting before, I'd highly recommend it. Even if you'd rather be an observer, you can attend local improv comedy troupe shows and LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to the dialogue that comes naturally and on-the-spot from these actors. (Listening to real conversational speech is beneficial as well, but be careful because "real people" don't speak compactly...more on that later.)

In high school I began acting in plays and did so throughout college and beyond. Because plays are 95% dialogue, I was forced to analyze, line by line, scene by scene, what I was required to say and how to make it work. I had to find the objective, motivation and tactics for my character. I had to know what I was really saying between the lines. And there was nothing worse than trying to act well while delivering a badly written line. I constantly considered whether dialogue (especially written by amateur playwrights) was something my character would really say--if it sounded believable, natural.

Then throughout high school I wrote in volumes upon volumes of journals. My average was ten pages a day, and on really good days, I would write up to fifty pages (and these were large-paged journals, not tiny pocket-sized ones). I wasn't thinking dialogue, dialogue, dialogue as I wrote these entries, but that's what they mostly were comprised of. Somehow I recalled conversations from the day, and I recorded them in my journal, not in a summarizing fashion, but moment for moment, word for word--"in-scene." I would skip to the part of the conversation that got interesting and start there (and I'd stop writing before the conversation got dull again). Which brings us to the next point in writing good dialogue:

Compressed Dialogue

It would sound natural (but would be painstakingly boring) if we wrote dialogue just as it is in real life. It would read like this:

"Hey."
"Hey."
"What's up?"
"Not much."
"Nice day."
"Yeah. Might rain later."
"Mmmm."
"So..."
"Yeah?"


This is small talk. Not much tension or conflict. The best dialogue--even between characters who like each other or are on the same side--must have conflict. So here is where we bend the law of natural dialogue to include only the most interesting parts, which again, must have conflict. I have to now go back to the dialogue I wrote where I let my characters endlessly banter and go off on tangents and trim it down to fit the purpose of the scene. And if my character felt the need to make some big speech (and you can only get away with so many of these), I need to liposuction that as well, and then break it up with beats, interiority, and reactions from the other character(s).

Check Your Dialogue

The most important thing you can do to test the quality of your dialogue is to read it aloud--or even better, have someone else read it aloud to you. Become actors and stage the scene you wrote. As you speak aloud, see where you or your friend stumble on the wording, or where your ears--and not your eyes--tell you something is wrong. Additionally, make sure your characters have different voices, patterns of speech, etc. And make sure the dialogue mechanics are helping, not hindering, the conversation of your characters. Get rid of dialogue tags when you can--but not all, as not to exhaust your reader. If you use beats in place of a dialogue tag, and in where it's otherwise unclear who is speaking, it's best to write the action beat before that character starts talking. For example:

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Jane said.
Michael fiddled with his shoelaces, not meeting her eyes. "What's for dinner?"

The above example also works for misdirecting the conversation, which is another great dialogue tool. Rather than have your characters speak plainly back and forth to each other, it's nice when they try to change subjects, interrupt each other, trail off, beat around the bush, speak in fragmented sentences, and answer a question with a question. All these tactics add tension, conflict and believability to the scene.

Some other quick reminders:

  • Make sure your stick to "said" as much as possible in your dialogue tags.
  • Don't use physical impossibilities for speaker attributions. (A character doesn't "laugh" or "grimace" a line of speech. They SAY it. So none of this: "Let's have a picnic," Teresa smiled.)
  • Paragraph your dialogue (a new paragraph for each person speaking). For the most part, this rule applies for character reactions too. So if one character is speaking and the other character reacts rather than says anything back, place that reaction in a separate paragraph, as if it were a line of dialogue.
  • Don't explain in your interiority or action beats what is apparent by the dialogue alone. Interiority is best used when it's revealing thoughts that are in opposition to the dialogue--or at least a completely different line of thought.
  • Get rid of adverbs in dialogue tags (he said lovingly) unless they actually modify the verb "said" (quietly, softly and clearly are okay, if you really need them).
  • Beware of melodrama in dialogue. Hopefully you can identify this by reading your dialogue aloud. Then make sure your scene isn't all at the same pitch; make sure it builds into a tense moment and there's contrast within the scene. Then compare all your scenes and make sure there is an arc to them--that they're not all at the same emotional intensity.
  • Beware of exposition/back story in dialogue. This is okay, but only if it is something the characters would naturally say to each other, and not just a device for the author to divulge necessary information to the reader.
  • Don't spell out dialects or accents in language. You CAN use language improperly or irregularly, though. (Like, "You don't got no business talking to me" if a character isn't well educated, or "Please to tell me what you mean" if a character is a foreigner.)
So what are your struggles with writing dialogue? (For me, it's in compressing it down. I could let my characters talk all day!) Do you have any tips or thoughts on writing dialogue you'd like to share? I'd love to hear them!

Friday, January 27, 2012

If You Really Knew Me...

Thanks to my friend Michelle for inspiring me with her own "If you really knew me" blog post.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot multitask. I've had selective hearing for as long as I can remember. It's so hard to fight against my body's instinct to keep me focused on one thing at a time.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot stand to see someone suffer. I'm still trying to learn that everything's not my fault and I cannot fix everything. Still, it hurts.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I laugh loudly. I throw my head back or double over or shake the chair I'm sitting in.

You'd know the thing that most often triggers my tears is a beautiful song.

You'd know I made a gazillion home movies growing up. Most featured myself as the princess or the glamorous movie star, while I made my younger sister play the maid or the moron.

If you really knew me, you'd know I used to cut off my lower eyelashes in my younger teens. They were too long and curly. I've since embraced my Twiggy eyelashes.

If you really knew me, you'd know that as a teen I was OBSESSED with U2, Winona Ryder, The Young Riders, and Greek mythology. I had scrapbooks for all of these things.

You'd know I have about 37,869 most embarrassing moments. Topping them all is the slo-mo "violin fart" in front of 50 girls and the ultimate trip down the stairs at my junior high school (I kept ricocheting into the wall as I endlessly rolled downward).

You'd know my left kidney belongs to my older brother now.

You'd know I play sad folk songs on my guitar. I don't know how many times my high school friends had to endure my rendition of "Blowin' in the Wind."

If you really knew me, you'd know I have nine brothers and sisters. I'm the oldest sister. That makes me the boss.

If you really knew me, you'd know I am a PERFECTIONIST. And it drives me crazy.

You'd know when my husband proposed to me, he gave me his glow-in-the-dark CTR ring to wear until he could afford something more.

You'd know I won first place in monologues at the statewide high school Shakespearean festival. I was so surprised I jumped on the old man presenting the award and gave him a hug. Luckily, he didn't topple over.

You'd know I cuss like a sailor when I snow ski, or any other time I think I might die.

You'd know that in high school my best friend and I made love potions and drank them--raw eggs and all.

If you really knew me, you'd know that the quality I most admire in others is their sincerity. Being fake is a cardinal sin in my book.

If you really knew me, you'd know I give my heart away easily. It gets trampled on often, but I'd still rather be this way.

If you write your own "If you really knew me" post, please let me know! I'd love to learn more about you.