If You Really Knew Me...

Thanks to my friend Michelle for inspiring me with her own "If you really knew me" blog post.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot multitask. I've had selective hearing for as long as I can remember. It's so hard to fight against my body's instinct to keep me focused on one thing at a time.

If you really knew me, you'd know I cannot stand to see someone suffer. I'm still trying to learn that everything's not my fault and I cannot fix everything. Still, it hurts.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I laugh loudly. I throw my head back or double over or shake the chair I'm sitting in.

You'd know the thing that most often triggers my tears is a beautiful song.

You'd know I made a gazillion home movies growing up. Most featured myself as the princess or the glamorous movie star, while I made my younger sister play the maid or the moron.

If you really knew me, you'd know I used to cut off my lower eyelashes in my younger teens. They were too long and curly. I've since embraced my Twiggy eyelashes.

If you really knew me, you'd know that as a teen I was OBSESSED with U2, Winona Ryder, The Young Riders, and Greek mythology. I had scrapbooks for all of these things.

You'd know I have about 37,869 most embarrassing moments. Topping them all is the slo-mo "violin fart" in front of 50 girls and the ultimate trip down the stairs at my junior high school (I kept ricocheting into the wall as I endlessly rolled downward).

You'd know my left kidney belongs to my older brother now.

You'd know I play sad folk songs on my guitar. I don't know how many times my high school friends had to endure my rendition of "Blowin' in the Wind."

If you really knew me, you'd know I have nine brothers and sisters. I'm the oldest sister. That makes me the boss.

If you really knew me, you'd know I am a PERFECTIONIST. And it drives me crazy.

You'd know when my husband proposed to me, he gave me his glow-in-the-dark CTR ring to wear until he could afford something more.

You'd know I won first place in monologues at the statewide high school Shakespearean festival. I was so surprised I jumped on the old man presenting the award and gave him a hug. Luckily, he didn't topple over.

You'd know I cuss like a sailor when I snow ski, or any other time I think I might die.

You'd know that in high school my best friend and I made love potions and drank them--raw eggs and all.

If you really knew me, you'd know that the quality I most admire in others is their sincerity. Being fake is a cardinal sin in my book.

If you really knew me, you'd know I give my heart away easily. It gets trampled on often, but I'd still rather be this way.

If you write your own "If you really knew me" post, please let me know! I'd love to learn more about you.

Book Cover Love -- Keeping the Dream Alive

Back when I finished my first draft of The Rowaness of Shalott in December, I decided to reward myself for two years of hard work by designing a mock book cover. I'm a very artsy and visual person, so seeing an image like this helps me keep positive, dreaming of the day a publisher makes an even cooler book cover representing the world and characters I've created.

Guinevere is Sleeping and I am Going Crazy

Arwen pretending to be Guinevere

A writer friend of mine recommended that after spending two intense years of writing Guinevere's story, I should give myself some distance--at least a month. That way I could go back my story with fresh eyes and hack at its length with a battle ax.

But after so long I don't know what to do without Guinevere. It sounds pathetic, I know, but...I miss her. *the sound of violins swells in the background*

So here's how I've been biding my time...

• balancing my checkbook (um...hadn't done that in 1 1/2 years)
• potty training my three-year-old daughter (no liquid gold in the froggy potty yet)
• going on actual dates with my husband...what a novelty!
• reading three books on writing and revising (my favorite so far is The First Five Pages: A Writer's Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile by Noah Lukeman)
• buying three more writing books
• entering a bunch of Online contests for pitches and the first 150 of my MS
• registering for a writers' conference
• committing to attending a writers' retreat with my friends in March
• watching a lot of TV and movies (Fringe is back on. Woot, woot!)
• working for the Utah Hemophilia Foundation (well, I do that anyway, but I didn't want my bread and butter--and fabulous friends there--to think I'd forgotten them)
• reading many author and agent blogs
• beta reading a novel for my crit partner (Robin, you go, girl!)
• critiquing three chapters for my other crit partners
• scariest of all (balancing my checkbook was scary) finally emailing my crit partners my MS yesterday. I've been going back and forth with whether or not I should let them read it at this point, knowing it needs so much cutting. But I braved up and decided in a sheer moment of GENIUS, they could help me with that!

So here I am twiddling my thumbs, reading another revision book, and waiting another few days for my sleeping beauty to wake up.

My battle ax and I will be ready...I think.