Monday, February 4, 2013

Pucker Up!

I've joined the Kissing Scene competition Cupid's Literary Connection is hosting. The following is from my young adult fantasy, THE LOVELY INVISIBLE. Isidora is a newly crowned 18-year-old queen in ancient Greece. Because her council wrongly views her as an ignorant girl, unprepared to rule, they rescind her governing power until she marries one of three preselected suitors. But the man she is drawn to isn't one of the three--or like them at all. He is invisible. In the excerpt below, Isidora is with one her suitors, Perrin, a money-wise fashionista from Athens. They are alone together in Aphrodite's temple to see how repairs are coming along after a recent earthquake.

“Would you like to try an experiment?” Perrin asked, his eyes dropping to my lips. He seemed...worried.

“What kind of experiment?”

“Just a kiss.” He narrowed his gaze, still fastened to my mouth. “Yes, that’s all I ask.”

The sound of striking hammers reverberated from outside, along with the faint shouts of commands from the workmen. I stared at Perrin and tried to imagine what kissing him would be like. I couldn’t stir up any buried sensations, only strange curiosity. But I supposed I ought to know if kissing him was agreeable. If we married, if we had to produce an heir one day, well, I should see what I was getting myself into.

“All right, Perrin. You may kiss me.”

He nodded with furrowed brows and took a deep breath. “I do find you very beautiful,” he said, as if to encourage himself. Then he let go of my hand and straightened his shoulders.

I glanced back at the temple door to see if it was still shut. When I turned around, I bumped noses with him. “Oh, excuse me, I didn’t realize you were so—” He kissed me quickly. “Oh,” I said again, reduced to a one-word vocabulary.

He drew back and scratched his clean-shaven chin. “Maybe if I…” He leaned in and kissed me again, or rather smashed his wet lips against mine, as if hoping more pressure might make the sensation more gratifying. He tilted his head a couple of times for good measure. Then he abruptly pulled back and we both gulped in a great breath.

“Thank you, Isidora,” he said, his cheeks colored more from embarrassment, I suspected, than a rush from the moment. “That was most, well…” He shrugged, and then turned and bowed to the frozen eyes of the goddess like he’d just offered her the grandest libation. “I’m sure Aphrodite respects love, or uh, admiration of all kinds.”

I wiped a bit of wetness from the corner of my mouth. “Indeed.”


  1. I'm not an expert/judge, but I'd so give this one most embarrassing award. Very funny and the topic is very interesting! Good luck! I'm #7.

  2. I love this sooo much. Haha. Oh, Perrin. You crack me up. :)

  3. This was hilarious. Loved it! Oh my goodness. So great! I agree-most embarrassing/funniest kiss I've read so far!!!

  4. Painful, embarrassing, hilarious! You nailed it. I especially loved the last line.
    --Barb (#38)

  5. You deserve the "Most Embarrassing Kiss" award with this delightful scene! I connected with your characters immediately and really enjoyed this.

    Great scene and good luck!

  6. Throw in my vote for the Most Embarrassing Kiss award while you're at it. I LOVED this! I would definitely read on. Good luck in the contest!

    Maggie (#27)

  7. Baahaaahah! Seriously you had me laughing out loud with this one. So. Nailed it.

    Logistically speaking, I was a bit wondering what he was doing when he "tilted his head a couple of times for good measure." ? But I love how scientific Perrin has managed to make kissing in such a short period of time. I just want to follow that guy around all day and see what other situations he makes completely awkward!

  8. I'm jumping on the bandwagon for Most Embarrassing Kiss too! Very funny and so awkward!!!

    Jessica (#42)

  9. Oh that's so painful. The kiss, obviously, as you're writing is wonderful. I don't think Perrin's quite her match.:)

    Rebecca #21

  10. Great scene! You set the tone for awkwardness just right--I was cringing right along with her! : ) This sounds like a great story...wish I could have read more! Good luck! (entry #48)

  11. Love this! Such an awkward kiss and you've set it up beautifully. My favorite line was: “Oh,” I said again, reduced to a one-word vocabulary. It made me laugh!
    Love the title of your novel too, BTW. (From Entry #12:

  12. Oh dear, this clearly gets the most comically awkward kiss in my book ;) Well, at least they know! I love how he's trying to pscyh himself up for it with a pep talk about her charms.

    Good Luck!
    Melonie (kiss #29)

  13. This was terribly cute! I loved it. You set up the scene perfectly, too, I could picture the setting and the dynamic of the characters clearly. So well done!

  14. Ugh Perrin seems like such a creeper and I mean that in a good way. Definitely an awkward moment. Poor Aphrodite!

    This line...
    "The sound of hammers striking reverberated in from outside" tripped me up a bit. I think it was the juxtaposition of in and outside. I think you can cut the word in and it still keeps it's meaning.

    Good job with the awkward kiss. The wiping the wetness from her mouth at the end definitely sealed the deal on the creep factor.

    Good Luck
    Jamie (entry #3)

    1. Thanks, Jamie. I agree with you about removing that "in." In fact, I'm going to change it right now!

  15. Hahaha! I totally got all butterfly-ee when I read this. I loved the originality--it was way fun, Kathryn. I wanted to read on! :D

  16. This sounds really great! I liked it very much.

  17. Wow, this scene is so perfectly awkward. Even better because they both realize it. You did a wonderful job! Good luck!
    Laura, Kiss #33, BSD #112

  18. *Kissing Expert Here*

    Oh this wins the COLOR ME RED AWARD, hands down. This is so awesome and awkward. I love it so much. Well done!

  19. I love how awkward this one was. It was a nice change from all the heavy petting of the other entries (including mine). Well done!

  20. Oh my! So awkward and awesome! The COLOR ME RED AWARD is definitely earned! Well done!

    Larissa (#47)

  21. That is adorable! I LOVE it! So very good :)

  22. Aww, I love that scene! What a fun one to pick!

  23. This is the definition of awkward. I dare say I've experienced a kiss like it. So uncomfortable! Great job, Katie.

  24. So...awkward...sounds like a slurpee're writing is awesome!